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Funny Dark Jokes šŸ˜ˆ | Best Darkest Jokes Humor Jokes to Laugh & Gasp

šŸ‘‹ Welcome to the Dark Side of Comedy šŸ˜ˆ
If you love dark jokes, twisted punchlines, and that guilty laugh you can’t explain — you’re in the right place! šŸ˜‚ Here we’ve collected the funniest dark humor jokes, offensive one-liners, inappropriate jokes, savage comebacks, and morbid humor that will make you laugh and gasp at the same time.


From edgy jokes about life, death, family, and everything in between, to the kind of twisted humor you can only share with your boldest friends — this page has it all. āš°ļøšŸ”„


šŸ‘‰ Scroll down, enjoy these dark comedy gems, and don’t forget to share them with your fellow mischief-makers. Warning: once you start, you won’t stop laughing (and maybe cringing). šŸ¤­šŸ¤£

Laughing.

šŸ˜‚ Jokes on Donald Trump — The Funniest Political Comedy eBook of 2025!āœØ


My grandma told me my generation is lazy.
So I unplugged her life support to prove her wrong — now she doesn’t need electricity either āš”šŸ’€

I saw a kid crying at the park because he lost his balloon šŸŽˆšŸ˜­
So I gave him a reason to really cry and told him Santa isn’t real šŸŽ…āŒ

My uncle told me to follow my dreams šŸŒ™āœØ
He’s been missing since. I guess he followed his too far šŸš¶‍ā™‚ļøšŸŒŒ

My wife left a note on the fridge saying, “This isn’t working.” šŸ“
I opened it — the fridge was fine. She wasn’t ā„ļøšŸ’”

My grandma said she wanted more candles on her cake šŸŽ‚šŸ•Æļø
So I lit her oxygen tank šŸ’„šŸ”„

Graveyards are so popular… āš°ļøšŸŒ‘
People are dying to get in šŸ˜‚šŸ’€

My boss told me to have a good day šŸ‘Ø‍šŸ’¼šŸ™‚
So I went home šŸ āœŒļø

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes šŸ’•
So she gave me a hug šŸ¤¦‍ā™‚ļøšŸ¤—

My parents said I could be anything when I grow up šŸ‘¶āž”ļøšŸ‘Ø
So I became an orphan šŸšļøšŸ˜¬

Dark humor is like food šŸ½ļø
Not everyone gets it šŸ¤·‍ā™‚ļøšŸ˜ˆ

I told my friend I wanted to die happy šŸ™‚šŸ”«
So he shot me while I was eating cake šŸŽ‚šŸ’„

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? šŸŽšŸ›
Finding half a kid in your basement šŸ§’šŸ”Ŗ

They say money can’t buy happiness šŸ’ø
But it can buy a rope and save you the trouble šŸŖ¢šŸ˜¶

Life is short ā³
But at least funerals are shorter āš°ļøšŸ¤£

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon? šŸ‘¶šŸ‰
I don’t cry when I drop the watermelon šŸ’„šŸ˜¬

I asked my dad when he’s coming back šŸ§‍ā™‚ļøā›½
Still waiting at the gas station šŸ•’šŸš«

Why don’t orphans play hide and seek? šŸ™ˆšŸ™‰
Because good luck hiding when nobody’s looking for you šŸ‘€āŒ

I asked my mom what’s for dinner…
She said, “Nothing, you’re adopted.”šŸ˜¶

 

I bought a coffin on sale…
It was a dead giveaway āš°ļøšŸ˜‚

 

 

My wife asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo…
So I had to put my foot down šŸ¦©šŸ’€

 

 

Why don’t grave robbers ever get caught?
Because they really dig their work šŸŖ¦ā›ļø

 

 

I asked my blind date if she believed in love at first sight…
She said, “Only if I can touch your face first.” šŸ‘©‍šŸ¦ÆšŸ˜¬

 

 

The doctor said I have only 6 months to live…
So I shot him. Problem solved — now I’ve got life. šŸ”«šŸ‘®

 

 

People say I have commitment issues…
But that’s just because I ghost my therapists šŸ‘»šŸ›‹ļø

 

 

I named my dog “5 Miles.”
So I can tell people I walk 5 Miles every day šŸ•‍šŸ¦ŗšŸš¶‍ā™‚ļø

 

 

What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting her out of the wheelchair šŸ„¦šŸ˜¶

 

 

I asked my grandpa if he wanted to be buried or cremated…
He said, “Surprise me.” šŸŽšŸ”„

 

 

Why do orphans love playing poker?
Because they never worry about a full house šŸƒšŸ˜¬

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